I love thee

I love my husband-to-be

I love my little house

I love my car

Drain the Brain

Okay so on Harry Potter Dumbledore has this whirlpool in a birdbath style thing where he puts all his memories in to free up some roon in his mind. What a great idea. You could put things you would rather forget in there. Thoughts and memories that you cherish so much but seem to be fading with time. And they would stay as fresh and as vibrant as if it happened yesterday. You could revisit your childhood. And you could sieve out the things that go round and round in your head that are detrimental. No more dwelling. Just pay 4 installments of $24.95 plus postage and handling and recieve your very own BrainDraininator. And if you buy now we'll even throw in a birdbath to store those memories. And a free set of steak knives. For what is a Telemercial without steak knives.

Shopaholics anonymous

I need to stop spending money. Seriously it slips through my fingers like water. or sand. or other fine or wet materials. I went shopping this morning...did get some necessities...like hair dye...also got non essentials such as new makeup etc. It really does make me feel better though. My main problem is that i'm lonely when B is away. And he is away for two weeks at a time. So im lonely a lot. Sure i see my friends and the like but it doesnt fill the void. So i go shopping. I really need to stop or at least cut down, supposed to be saving for our wedding. Well we are saving, i could just be saving a lot harder. B makes really good money...and i spend it. God. Im such a dickhead. Technically it is our money but he is the one working so hard to make it. But on the flip side... he does want me to be happy. Maybe i can just cut down on food. Im kidding. I think.

Friendship's Road

I found this poem on a tile in an op shop in Mount Isa:

Friendship is a chain of gold
Shaped in God's all-perfect mould
Each link a smile, a laugh, a tear
A grip of the hand, a word of cheer
As steadfast as the ages roll
Binding closer soul to soul,
No matter how far or heavy the load,
Sweet is the journey on Friendship's Road.

I saw this...i like this....

... a time to plant and a time to uproot,
... a time to weep and a time to laugh,
... a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
... a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
... a time to stay and a time to go (Ecc.3)

things in my head

If you dont like me, go away. If you disagree with what i say, then thats great, but you disagreeing with my opinion is an opinion i disagree with. i consider myself excruciatingly normal, yet unique and often alone and adrift in my thoughts.

Last night i dreamt my younger sister was in labour, and i was holding her and rocking her back and forth, trying to take some of her pain away. She had run away from home and was living with a middle age gay couple who had taken her in and filled in their fishpond because it would be dangerous with a baby around. Not much else can be recalled......

Lately i have been having a lot of trouble sleeping. Too much to think about. Should take up meditation. Also need to lose weight and get my hair done. Tomorrow is another day.

I like lying on a blow up mattress in my backyard watching the sky. It's soothing. Its raining at the moment so there is no mattress lying sky watching to be had tonight.

I really should go to bed

Not tired...see above...

A few things i am sick of:

Fake friends
The biggest loser
Missing B while he works away
The rain...its great for the dams but hello...ever heard of moderation? Gosh!
Stretch marks
My doona cover. its a big daggy. I want my room to be a haven not a kaleidescope.
Annoying relatives. When i want to talk to you i will call you. I know, ive been mysteriously out when youve tried to ring. Coincedence? I THINK NOT.

I just want to hibernate for a little while? Doable? Certainly.

Until next time.

How does your garden grow?

When B was home we planted a whole heap of cottage garden flowers, and its been raining a fair bit so im excited to see what starts sprouting! Is is silly to see representations of other things in small things? My point is, to me those flowers symolise a fresh start with B and I, new beginnings and the like. This year is going to be fabulous, just wait and see!

Until next time

only i can rain on my parade

I would like to take this opportunity to rant into cyberspace, rather than at my parents. Don't get me wrong, i love and respect them with all my heart, but this issue has gone on far too long. What am i on about? "The Wedding". A piece of paper and a chunk of metal doesnt define my relationship. so why is ONE DAY in all my life being made such a huge issue out of.
Yes, i have read every bridal and even non bridal magazine, book, webpage, brochure etc and i know my stuff. I have researched the prices and packages of every single suitable place. I had come up with the perfect solution. It was agreed upon. And then, after all my work, time, research, negotiations and stress, they dismiss it. And by dismissing it they are dismissing me. Oh i know this is mostly my mothers doing but my father has to agree with her to keep the peace. I get that, what i dont get is why drag it out?
Seriously, if it didnt mean so much to me for my dad to walk me down the aisle, it would be elopement all the way. Weve talked about it, B and I, and its certainly a viable option. Im going to wait until the storm passes before i make rash decisions. But for the moment im completely off their radar and it is shitting my mother no end. Two can play that game my precious.

a whole new world

So. Laurel has a blog page, how very exciting. Get ready for monotonous, mundane and/or marvellous reading material....which i will start tomorrow...too tired now...doing nothing today sure did take it out of me.

Until next time.